This Is What Disability Binarism Looks Like

I exist on the grey area of disability, the part where things are neither black nor white.  I am neither wholly visibly disabled, nor wholly invisibly disabled.  I walk on my own, and yet, I use a wheelchair.  More people are with me in the grey area than you think.  Not everything...

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To Parents of Children With Cerebral Palsy

Dear parents of children with cerebral palsy: Your child with CP may not ever walk. They may not ever talk. And that's okay.  Because your child will be able to: Communicate in whatever way they can Move around their environment in whatever way is best for them (which may change at times) Learn many things, both inside and outside the classroom Appreciate the smaller victories in life Develop...

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Am I Fucking Crippled Enough For You Now?

All my life I've been told I'm not crippled enough.  No, you can't have a wheelchair that's paid for by insurance, because you can walk.  No, we won't set you up with vocational rehab before high school like we're supposed to because you're smart and besides, what can voc rehab really do for you anyway?  You need to stand up and teach, because you can, never mind how...

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Why I Am Against Autism Speaks

I was criticized yesterday for wanting an organization I have been heavily involved in for four years to join in on the twitter bomb against Autism Speaks.  I was told that, from an organizational standpoint, it would better to promote something, to be FOR rather than against something. Well, from an organizational standpoint, there are many organizations that have signed onto the Autistic...

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Anatomy of a Depression Episode

What follows is a description of a depression episode as I experience it.  This was written on the tail end of an episode very late at night.  With a few changes, it is exactly as I wrote it during that depression episode.  It is important to note that this is not how everyone experiences depression - my depression is intertwined with anxiety, which complicates things.  As they...

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Why I Can No Longer Fully Support the Social Model

I am tired of feeling ashamed to be disabled. Or not disabled, really, the social model makes that distinction.  I am ashamed to be impaired. Disability, in a nutshell, is what society imposes on you.  Impairment is the biological condition that causes society to disable you in the first place. Here's the thing:  Not everyone who is considered disabled by society has an impairment...

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No, It Is Not Okay To Grieve (Because Nobody Died)

Parents of children with disabilities are often told, when their child is first diagnosed with a disability, that it is okay to grieve the loss of a "normal child".  I've even seen it taken a step further, with suggestions that parents of children with disabilities go through the same five stages of grief that people go through when someone dies - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. I...

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This Is the Week Autism Speaks Meets Its Downfall

"If three million children in America one day went missing – what would we as a country do?" What would we do if three million people in the United States were being told that they are missing? Missing from where, I'm not sure.  Missing implies that there is a place that they are supposed to be.  Missing implies that something is lost.  The remote control can go missing.  The...

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An Open Letter to the Staff of the Long Island Doctor Who Convention

To Ken Depp and the Long Island Doctor Who Staff, During the weekend of November 8th - 10th, 2013, I was thrilled to attend the Long Island Doctor Who convention at the Clarion Hotel and Convention Center Ronkonkoma.  As an avid Whovian, I was eager to go to my first convention and meet like-minded people. I was not prepared to find that the convention was inaccessible to me. I was...

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Strong (Disabled) Female Characters

I recently came across an article entitled "I hate Strong Female Characters".  The article argued that "Strong Female Characters" are often one-dimensional, thrown in there purely to prove that we as a society have moved beyond the damsel in distress trope, a mere distraction from the real (male) characters. Though I found myself nodding along and agreeing as I read the article, something...

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Disabled Is Not An Insult

"Eh?" said Hagrid blankly.  "No, don' go!  I've - I've never met another one before!""Anuzzer what, precisely?" said Madame Maxime, her tone icy."Another half-giant, o'course!" said Hagrid."'Ow dare you" shrieked Madame Maxime.  "I 'ave never been more insulted in my life!  'Alf giant?  Moi?  I 'ave - I 'ave big bones!" -Excerpted from Harry Potter and the Goblet of...

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Screw A Cure, *I* Want Equality: A Letter to Rachelle Friedman

Dear Rachelle, I recently read your article on the Huffington Post titled “Rachelle Friedman, 'Paralyzed Bride,' Speaks Out: More Than Equality, We Want a Cure”.  I applaud you for speaking out on what is undoubtedly a difficult topic.  However, your article raised some trepidation for me that I would like to take this time to address. As a disabled person myself who does not desire...

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Putting Education First

TW:  mention of the r-word, discussion of ableism in the school system Back in high school, I habitually missed class.  Not because I wanted to, mind you, but because my bus was always late.  I took the short bus, the butt of immature teen jokes everywhere.  The retard bus.  The bus whose riders are commonly assumed to be drooling sacks of shit who don't have a brain in...

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Murder is a Selfish Act

It is one thing to drown in your pain. It is quite another to drown someone else in that pain. I wish I didn't have to write this.  I wish this didn't keep happening.  But it does. On September 3rd, Kelli Stapleton locked herself and her 14 year old autistic daughter, Issy, in their van, lit two charcoal grills, and waited to die from carbon monoxide poisoning.  Police discovered...

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Awareness at what cost?

I recently had an unfortunate encounter with a graphic that snuck its way onto my Facebook newsfeed.  The picture, posted below, is of a green stiletto high-heeled shoe supposedly stomping, with the noise represented in a comic-book like burst.  In green text on the top of the graphic it...

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The Importance of Perception

Those of who who read disability blogs a lot may know where I'm going with this.  For those who don't, enjoy the ride....

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Dear God, If You Exist: Please Don't Cure Me

Dear God, If You Exist: Please Don't Cure Me - News - Bubblews New post on Bubblews discussing the apparent phenomenon of the power of prayer "curing" a man with CP.  You can read more about it at http://www.parents.com/blogs/to-the-max/2013/07/30/autism/god-isnt-healing-my-child-with-cerebral-palsy/. Feel free to like the Bubblews post and share it around!...

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Don't Sanitize My Disability Justice

This may come as a surprise to some people, but disability justice doesn't mean "put ramps and elevators in", nor does it mean "hire the handicapped". OK, so it means that a little bit.  Access is nice.  So are jobs.  But there are far more pressing and disturbing issues to deal with.  Just as the LGBTQ+ rights movement isn't exclusively about marriage, and the Black civil rights...

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Dear Parent Advocates: It's Not About You

Dear parent advocates, parents of kids like me and so many more, It's not about you. Come to think of it, it's not about us either. It's about society.  It's about reinforcing the status quo.  It's about which voices get amplified, and which voices get silenced.  It's about contributing to a world that is already hateful and inaccessible to people like us. The world listens to...

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The Opposite of Jealousy is Love

Dear Mom, Dear Dad, Dear Mommy, and Daddy Mama, and Papa Dear all the parents, of all the kids like me, I know.  You're jealous of those other parents.  You're scared, and confused, and possibly even a little angry, because your child isn't typical, because life threw you for a loop, and now you're hearing confusing words like "autism", "cerebral palsy", "developmental delay", "Down Syndrome"....

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