tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post513535789598889000..comments2024-02-27T04:13:43.169-05:00Comments on That Crazy Crippled Chick: Why This Latest "Heartwarming" Story Isn't So HeartwarmingCara Liebowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11860032209178249016noreply@blogger.comBlogger66125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-11920785694697999422015-12-31T22:32:22.498-05:002015-12-31T22:32:22.498-05:00Thanks for writing this. I made similar comments o...Thanks for writing this. I made similar comments on that story when I saw it a while back on some Feel Good type website that shows in my FB newsfeed. Well intended, but so patronizing. And did it not OCCUR to them that the woman in question or her family may in fact read that story. Cripes. Wake up. Do good and keep quiet about it. Don't objectify and talk about her and then expect to be applauded for it. We are not talking about a cute puppy. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11233935446160610082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-85459009050282998372015-12-11T01:35:44.829-05:002015-12-11T01:35:44.829-05:00I think previous posters are thinking of the Ameri...I think previous posters are thinking of the Americans With Disabilities Act instead of HIPAA (love the admonishing "that's only health care professions!" posts that say HIPPA), which it sounds like Meijer might very well have violated. The situations in which an employer can disclose an employee's disability are extremely limited under ADA; legally, they can't inform coworkers, except for supervisors/managers if necessary. <br /><br />Both of my twin children have autism, and if something like this happened -- where the right to disclose their diagnosis was denied them and overwhelming attention focused on them because of a thoughtless Facebook post -- I would be devastated. I'd also be calling a lawyer. And anyone who told me I needed to see the heartwarming side, or lighten up and see the funny side of a customer first laughing at and then promptly condescending to my child on social media, after my child's diagnosis was shared with that customer by one of her coworkers, could go straight to hell. <br /><br />Thank you for your reasonable and thoughtful blog post. I'm more disturbed by the percentage of people who have read this story and see no problem with it than I am by the story itself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-70877355444590144342015-12-08T16:40:44.557-05:002015-12-08T16:40:44.557-05:00The cashier in this story says the employee is Aut...The cashier in this story says the employee is Autisic, according to the employee in the bakery says CP those are 2 very different disabilities. It doesn't change the outcome of the story, other than if the cashier was telling the customer of the disability he/she should know the facts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-52771964957509986162015-12-08T16:39:34.814-05:002015-12-08T16:39:34.814-05:00The bakery employee said she/he had CP. Cerebral P...The bakery employee said she/he had CP. Cerebral Palsy. If the cashier wants to tell the customer of the disability, he/she should know the correct disability.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-42871967928483705602015-12-08T12:09:45.750-05:002015-12-08T12:09:45.750-05:00After 11 years as a cashier, I'll give this yu...After 11 years as a cashier, I'll give this yutz a gold star for being polite, but not much else. It's too noteworthy to go unnoticed.Mjithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09354591286027073047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-83909251700174048292015-12-07T00:21:51.263-05:002015-12-07T00:21:51.263-05:00An employer with access to medical info is one thi...An employer with access to medical info is one thing, but if you happen to know that a coworker is austic (like this case) you aren't legally required to keep it private. yes it's a jerk move to tell a random person "oh that persons autistic" but there's no legal action that can be taken. to me it's similiar (not exactly the same) to telling a customer a coworker is gay -> it's not their right to tell a customer that and yes it's immoral but not illegal.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-90284762247548681602015-12-06T20:11:27.695-05:002015-12-06T20:11:27.695-05:00To the person who wrote:
"Anonymous said...
...To the person who wrote: <br />"Anonymous said...<br />What's CP?I'd google CP,but...well,best to just not.Almost guaranteed to not learn anything new about chronic disorders." <br /><br />CP is short for Cerebral Palsy. Cerebral Palsy is a brain injury that occurs before, during or after birth, that effects the movement center of the brain. I wrote a description of it on my website here http://cripvideoproductions.com/about.php <br />if you want more details. See the part of the page that says "more". Margothttp://cripvideoproductions.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-64336936402137310502015-12-06T10:44:44.696-05:002015-12-06T10:44:44.696-05:00Aren't we always advocating for inclusion into...Aren't we always advocating for inclusion into public life for people with all types of autism and separately, developmental delay? Aren't we asking everyone to abandon their perceptions of what is expected to see that there is room for people who don't "fit" the pattern? That the unexpected and outside the norm can have value and beauty? Your are 100% correct that the original poster said nothing originally bc she found the writing humorous and probably just didn't care that much. However, the sharing of information allowed her to see the "funny" writing in a different way. People are so scared of "autism" and other "disabilities". It's kept hidden. Well, this silly post might make someone think twice about how they speak to the employee in the supermarket who's "different". Disability scoop.com reports that the unemployment for persons with disabilities is on a sharp uptick. 12.1% in November. The shift comes as figures show fewer people with disabilities were employed and more sought to join the workforce. We need more stories about persons with different abilities seeking and finding successful employment. Does every time a person with different abilities succeed have to become a FB post? No. But if this post helps more companies decide to hire and treat persons with different abilities equally then it's a success. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-57008213919515674572015-12-06T10:10:13.404-05:002015-12-06T10:10:13.404-05:00I would prefer to do my job and not have my disabi...I would prefer to do my job and not have my disabilities plastered all over the internet. Would you enjoy being thrust into the spotlight by, say, a health issue you have? What if it was without your consent? Is that actually ok with you?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17759784860076755613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-2691409896584594722015-12-06T10:05:33.991-05:002015-12-06T10:05:33.991-05:00An employer is absolutely bound by privacy laws, e...An employer is absolutely bound by privacy laws, especially if medical info is part of a personnel record. If the person disclosed publically, it's fair game.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17759784860076755613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-58755694775370003122015-12-06T06:42:49.449-05:002015-12-06T06:42:49.449-05:00It's crappy that the photo and story needed to...It's crappy that the photo and story needed to be posted on social media. The disclosing of the employee's disability was probably to provide an explanation to the customer for the messy cake. No harm there- but taking pictures, unnecessary. Finally, it's important to be inclusive and non-discriminatory when hiring staff. However, NONE of us are hired to do jobs that we are not qualified to do or incapable of completing with any quality. No one would hire me as an architect.... Cakes cost money. People want to present their loved ones with an attractive product. They're paying and have a right to expect quality. I would have found the cake peculiar myself. Management needs to quietly and respectfully remind the staff person to seek assistance for decoration requests. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-80076751643014488782015-12-06T00:26:55.762-05:002015-12-06T00:26:55.762-05:00You do not have to sign a waiver for it to be in e...You do not have to sign a waiver for it to be in effect. It is always in effect regardless. The "waiver" is documentation that you have been notified of your rights. The co-worker in this situation was not bound by those laws. I found this story unnerving. People watching a "cute puppy" fail. Yes they also love, but it's degrading to "discuss and take pictures" of a normal activity because she is handicapped. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-57219769005916073902015-12-05T20:48:59.972-05:002015-12-05T20:48:59.972-05:00I am an autistic flutist, arranger, and composer. ...I am an autistic flutist, arranger, and composer. I don't want to receive "special favors" just because someone wants to "make my day." I want to have earned the solo, arranged or composed something that bands want to play because it is high-quality music, and to make the judges cry with my vibrato and intonation, not a sob story. This employee tried her best to execute a task and succeeded. She received extra hubbub for it because she is autistic. <b>This story troubles me because, if she were not autistic, an event like this would go overlooked.</b> I have met many people who obviously had little experience with their fields, who could not yield the same results as their experienced counterparts, but who received no such thanks, perhaps even receiving ridicule from the customer. If this story did not highlight the employee's disability so much and if her cake did not elicit the reaction it did and if it were told by the employee, I would not have minded so much. However, the way this event is presented more sickly sweet and processed than grocery store frosting, so that is why it troubles me. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10616282351291824392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-91066096688580189042015-12-05T13:43:03.092-05:002015-12-05T13:43:03.092-05:00What's CP?I'd google CP,but...well,best to...What's CP?I'd google CP,but...well,best to just not.Almost guaranteed to not learn anything new about chronic disorders.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-58951502069666866462015-12-05T11:50:19.908-05:002015-12-05T11:50:19.908-05:00I'm more appalled by the shops staff than the ...I'm more appalled by the shops staff than the lady that politely accepted the cake, to be honest though.Chrissiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04123286133578902059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-64240527344054868152015-12-05T11:47:25.240-05:002015-12-05T11:47:25.240-05:00You just perfectly explained all of the reasons wh...You just perfectly explained all of the reasons why this story annoyed me which I couldn't quite put into words. It's like they are dealing with a naughty pet or something not a person who happens to be disabled. Chrissiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04123286133578902059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-974472082360390052015-12-05T05:48:10.514-05:002015-12-05T05:48:10.514-05:00Even though my husband did not have to he went by ...Even though my husband did not have to he went by the HIPPA laws when dealing with workman compensation cases at his job. His feelings are that he does not want his information out there he is not going to give other peoples information out. He does not really tell his employers that I am disabled, just that I have doctors appointments that he goes to and that I come before his job no matter what. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-56576097436945307572015-12-05T02:55:37.484-05:002015-12-05T02:55:37.484-05:00Oh geeze. It's 2015, so let's get offended...Oh geeze. It's 2015, so let's get offended by everything! I bet the fact that this customer accepted this cake and thanked her made the employees day. How do you know her nervous laugh was just a tic of hers when she's trying to not make someone feel badly about themselves. I have social anxiety, I hate saying or doing anything to make anyone feel badly, so I do the same thing. I think it was great that she acted like this was normal and treated the cake like any other professionally decorated cake. I hate how PC everyone is now. It's just getting ridiculous. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10422503485391566686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-5112437837217049462015-12-04T23:14:20.869-05:002015-12-04T23:14:20.869-05:00When I first heard of this story, I too was uncomf...When I first heard of this story, I too was uncomfortable about it. Thanks for putting this out there. God bless that girl, and for doing her very best! That's all you can really do in any situation, either someone who has full motor skills or someone who is handicapped. MichiganGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15123427854433049495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-23922349756700115922015-12-04T15:06:53.318-05:002015-12-04T15:06:53.318-05:00You seem to forget that a lot of people are totall...You seem to forget that a lot of people are totally F'nBS Heads, as my Grandmother used to say. I've seen people flip out over less and really lay into someone. I imagine I'm not the only person to have made this observation. What makes it heart warming (or whatever - my heart is ice cold) is that someone acted humanely, several people in fact, when another could have been total friggen mule orifice about it. Maybe the moral here is to let it go, is it (generally something trivial) really worth causing another person emotional distress?<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-85451819709907115032015-12-04T14:04:29.935-05:002015-12-04T14:04:29.935-05:00I disagree with you in most points. She didn't...I disagree with you in most points. She didn't know the girl had a disability, ergo the story is funny. There is a website called cakewrecks, I love it because they portray cake disasters, and it's funny just for the fact that the cakes are ugly, and it doesn't matter who made them or why. She is not making fun of the girl, she just found the cake funny (because it is ugly, we can all agree on that). She didn't react as most of the people would, which is bursting into a rage (not very different from what you did here) and demanding her money back or a new cake or whatever, she just took the cake and tried to pay for it. I recently tried to do this famous Pinterest watermelon cake to give as a present, and after almost 3 hours of work, my husband took a look at it and said: lol, it looks like a very neat steak, and laughed. When I looked at it I realized that this had to be the ugliest cake ever made, and it is still a funny story, even to the poor person that got it. What I mean is that not everyone is an expert, not everyone gets it right at the first try, and not everyone has the capacity to do everything even if you want to do it, with or without disability, we are all bad at something and I am sure that the girl that wrote over the cake is good at many other things. I am also sure that I will never be able to use a sewing machine for example, I just can't. I also cannot do most of the diy projects, I cannot for my life keep any kind of plant alive for more than 1 month, but I can draw! So, that's something :)<br /><br />One time, I accompanied my husband to get a haircut. The guy that was assigned to him did a mess, it took forever, the hair was not symmetrical, I am no expert but this was a hairwreck. When he was about to finish, the little comb of the electric trimmer felt down and it left a huge white rectangle on the back of his head. The guy went pale, I think that he was about to faint. He got so nervous that his hands started to tremble. My husband, completely unaware of what had just happened, looked at him puzzled. I walked over, smiled at him (but I was about to burst out laughing), and told him to cut the hair to the minimum with the trimmer, and to stop worrying: hair grows back. I was about to cry from how much I wanted to laugh at the moment. I looked at my even more puzzled husband and gave him "the look", (the "trust me" look) so he just sat back and allowed the guy to finish the job of leaving him almost bald with a faint white square on the back of the head. We paid, thanked the guy, gave him a bit of a tip (not much, lets be honest), and went away. That might have been the worst day of this guy's life, I think, it was his first day on a new job (which we found out later because the cashier asked us how he had done. We said: "It was ok, he is very polite!"). When I explained to my newly bald husband what had happened, I could barely breathe from laughter. My husband didn't find it so funny at the beginning but after a while he was laughing too and this became a funny anecdote. I wasn't being mean to the guy, but the situation was so funny that I couldn't help but laugh, we all make mistakes, I have been in this position too, and once the terrible moment has passed, the memory, with the right attitude, can be funny. Specially if you don't find yourself with an hysterical client screaming at you for not making it right.<br /><br />But I do agree with you in two things: one is that the people of the store do have a bit of a patronizing attitude towards the girl, although there might be a story behind that that we don't know. I also think that sharing the status in fb as a lesson of morality and goodness sucks. People should be good because they are good, not because some post in fb inspired them. But then again, I just shared my hairwreck story here just to make a point, so maybe I am wrong in that too.<br /><br />Cheers! vanesaurushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00623442078835788651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-18071650856125256052015-12-04T13:52:09.991-05:002015-12-04T13:52:09.991-05:00I appreciate your position and where you're co...I appreciate your position and where you're coming from, but I think you're overreacting to a few points of the story.<br /><br />She wasn't laughing at someone for doing their job. She thought it looked a bit funny and might amuse people with how it looked. She didn't think the fact that the employee wasn't very good at her job was funny, and didn't laugh at her. <br /><br />I completely agree that it was wrong of the cashier to 'out' the employee, but I can sympathise with the somewhat awkward position the cashier was put in. It was unnecessary for such a fuss to be caused when the customer wasn't making a complaint about the cake, and that needs to be dealt with by the store so nothing this unprofessional happens in the future. <br /><br />I disagree with your opinion that the employee wasn't kind. It's kind to not cause a scene when you're given a substandard piece of work, and it's kind to agree to pay full price for it when the circumstances of the work are explained to you. She probably thought paying full price for the cake would make the employee happy, as she saw someone be more than willing to pay for some work she carried out. A situation like this would be awkward, regardless of whether the employee was disabled or not, and people act as they deem appropriate at the time, which may not be the perfect response.<br /><br />I also completely disagree with your notion that you shouldn't be told that your best try isn't good enough, and I completely agree with Margot's comment above. It would be better if everyone was treated equally and the same standards of work were expected of everyone. Unfortunately, this cake wouldn't be deemed acceptable in the majority of cases, and the employee would need to be told this. Perhaps they can train her properly to decorate cakes and she can move on to this as her job in the future, but this isn't her job, and she hasn't done it well, so she would need to be told that. Obviously, this should have been done with discretion, rather than crowding around and taking pictures (which is horrendous, really), but employees should absolutely be told when their work isn't good enough, whether disabled or no. How else are they to improve? It's utterly patronising and unhelpful not to give constructive criticism where it's necessary. <br /><br />I do think it's self-indulgent to post 'good deeds' like this online, but perhaps the customer genuinely wanted to inspire others to be kind. I don't think she meant any offence, and I find it quite harsh to pick apart her actions and criticise her personality like this. I can see the problems with the story, and I'm surprised it's had this level of response, but it's not nearly as nasty as your response would suggest.Katherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12183001054419086149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-59146260842381022362015-12-04T13:50:57.077-05:002015-12-04T13:50:57.077-05:00Agreed. Autism is so misunderstood. It is also n...Agreed. Autism is so misunderstood. It is also not a "disability" for many people. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16281434374231835462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-17058536284799544422015-12-04T13:33:32.299-05:002015-12-04T13:33:32.299-05:00Ok. So let's analyze the facts here: some RAND...Ok. So let's analyze the facts here: some RANDOM PERSON YOU DON'T KNOW, posted a photo, JUST A DAMN PHOTO OF AN UGLY CAKE, with a cheesy story that doesn't even make sense, and you people believe it? Seriously? How do you know this story isn't made up? Where is the proof? How can so many people be THAT naive and look at a photo and blindly believe all the bs written under it? Especially when the story is so silly! The person who wrote that story didn't think much before she did it, that's obvious. And reading the story, to me it sounds like "thank you for petting my dog" because the disabled person was treated like that, with slight empathy but no respect! Should we start praising customers for saying "thank you" when receiving their order? If so, get ready for millions of this kind of stories. <br />And where is the kindness?? Do we really need to be KIND to respect a disabled person? Are they inferior to the non-disabled so the only way to respect them is by being kind? How about just practicing manners and respecting everyone equally? <br />And why should I feel heart warmed by a person who is bragging over the internet about saying thanks for a cake(ugly or not, some people including myself can find it cute because it looks so clumsy).<br />It's sad that we live in such an ugly world, that we throw parties and celebrate when people are just being polite...<br /><br />Please, please stop being so NAIVE! Get your critical thinking down from the attic of your mind and dust it off, it's very useful!<br /><br />And just be kind without flaunting it all over the internet, do it for yourself and the others and the warmth it brings in your hearts. ♥ Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495205444562241273.post-34908201597869619802015-12-04T13:31:37.410-05:002015-12-04T13:31:37.410-05:00I love this so much. As a Social Worker who works ...I love this so much. As a Social Worker who works with people with developmental disabilities, I try so hard to combat this thinking. Folks who do not work with people with disabilities don't seem to grasp that everyone just wants to be treated equally i.e. not be given super special treatment because of their disability. Explaining that this is is condescending and harmful behavior always makes me out to be the bad guy who doesn't want to see someone with a disability get something special. Everybody wants to feel that they are special because of who they are as a person, not because of a disability. Thank you for sharing your experience!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com